Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Confessions of a (Former) Ironman

Tap, tap...is this thing still on? Dear blog readers (if there are still any of you out there), it has been seven months since my last post. I've been pretty busy in those seven months...planning a wedding, getting married...the time has flown by!
You know what I haven't been doing in those seven months? A lot of running. I can honestly say that I have not had a good run in over a year. Ugh. When those good runs weren't coming very easily post Ironman in 2010 it became easier to stop running. Now when I try to run my shins hate me, my knees hate me. I'm back at square one. Bummer. Um, it probably doesn't help that I've definitely gained weight in the past year. That would make anyone's joints hate them as you attempt to pound the pathways, right?

It is pretty hard to believe that a year ago yesterday I finished Ironman Canada. For the last few months I have not felt a burning desire to do an Ironman again. I just want to be able to train and enjoy the process, so I need to figure out what will get me back to that point. Then on Sunday I watched the live feed from Ironman Canada online. I tracked my friends that were racing and virtually cheered them on. I felt emotions well up inside of me as finishers crossed the line, arms raised in triumph, as I remembered how it felt when I finished last year. God, that was the best feeling. I went from saying, "I never want to do an Ironman again if I am going to fall off the wagon as badly as I did after the first one" to saying "I think I need some redemption on the Ironman course."

Then I found out that my previous training partners in crime for Ironman 2010, Kelly and Tara, signed up for 2012. And my good friend Pam, who I really want to train for an Ironman with, also signed up for 2012. And I soooo want to sign up.
I have a million reasons not to, the first one being that starting at square one and going to an Ironman in one year sounds like a ludicrous prospect. I really think I should focus on losing that weight I managed to put on and just get back to training and seeing how it feels. I need to have faith that if I do that the good runs will start coming back. Ironman will always be there and I want to enjoy the process to get to the start line. I'm not sure what it is going to take to get that mojo back, but I believe I can do it. It is time to start trying.